Untitled

I lay
With constant thoughts
Of missed opportunity
And as I think about it I
Digress

Tunnel of Vision

A light dimly shines,
Illuminating the past yet
Still keeping futures bright

insomnia - a haiku

4 a.m.I watch
From my room the broken street light
Finally fade out

My Pursuit

Mmm…Mmm…MMM….DAMN she is fine!!

Once again she crosses my path and my mind and
My heart swells up with the feelings that
Only I and God know
So as I see her walk on by I
Wallow away in the distance and
Thoughts begin to cross my mind of
How it might be if we were together

I think of drifting away with her alone with,
Only us and the elements as our audience
I think of holding her petite body
And as I smell her aromatic fragrance
I clutch to her like women clutch handbags
I think of our bodies intertwining and
The sound of her breathing and moaning as our soundtrack

Then I think about the long nights I spend just
Enriched in conversation while looking into those stunning eyes and
To no surprise I realize she may be the one


Na …she’s more than just a pretty face and smile
Not poison but a hypnotic serum
That is potent enough to send my mind into a frenzy in an instant and
Have me tripping over my words like an infant

I start to wonder of the reasons why I feel this way.
Is it because I know that I can be the Nubian King to her Queen
Or is it her lips, her hips or her attitude that
Seem to keep me transfixed as if I need a fix
To quell the addiction that I can’t fix

So I sit here…
And ponder to myself that
Maybe I should introduce myself or
Make it known that I exist
I can see it now…
Today will be the day that,
I sweep her off her feet like
Prince Charming did to Snow White or
Dad did to Mom or
She did to me…
Yea I know….she doesn’t know yet so
It’s up to me to break the ice with
A toothpick as my only weapon
And her beauty as my motivation

I want to take it one step at a time but
The first step is like walking on glass barefoot
So I take one gulp and make my move in her direction, slowly so
She doesn’t notice I have been watching her every move and
I can start it off with small talk to
Chip away at the ice.

How’s my breath… cool.

I start to approach and say hi but...

Damn…..there she goes.

So I think about her...and think about her

Come to find out that,

She is a beautiful soul that

Isn't appreciated by her man at home

So I decide to write to her to provide an prologue to the novel of our relationship

But...Sometimes I feel as if,
I cannot thoroughly describe my thoughts as I scribe on this pallet
As if her looks and personality doesn't already speak volumes.

Her looks and her attitude create perfect harmony, and its those aesthetic synergies that have me yearning for her attention.

And sometimes I feel as if she should've been mine.
As if in another life its me she is holding passionately, instead of him.

The image is so vivid I feel as if it had already occurred.
One by one, three matches are lit in the night
The first to see her face
The second to see her eyes
The last to see her lips
I caress her body from head to toe tip
So when its dark all around, I can remember it all
While holding her in my arms.
I want to be the subject to her predicate, the yin to her yang, the reason why she sings.

And sometimes I wonder why...
Why is she subject to the insecurities
And all the abnormalities that the relationship entails.
And I wish that I can tell her that I can be her knight in shining armor while
releasing her from those troublesome burdens that exists from someone who thinks that "she's too good for me"

And sometimes I wish that I can look into those pools of remorse and transform them into oceans of realization as she sketches a portrait within my heart.
But I realize from the start that I'm wanting something that I cannot have, but I feel that I can have anything I want if I give up the belief that I can't.

Sometimes,
I feel as if she feels the same way.
As if day to day she wonders how it wouldve been if she said no to him and yes to me...

The Intentional Absence of the Patriarch

Fathers- so many here, but so many missing
As I question the existence of this life and where it is taking me,
I think about my father, and how he wasn't here faithfully.
I won't use hate...as a matter of fact...yea, I hate that nigga
But I figure that I'm bigger than that so
I'll oppose the negative synergies as my feelings saturate like paint thinner.
You left me when I was 3, and never seen my potential
I screamed that I hated you!
At the top of my lungs, but
Mom said that hate is a strong word so
I guess I just really don't like you
And when she's not around the thing that I hate most about you is that I'm scared
That imma end up just like YOU.

Why?
Why do I not want to be you?
You are a pompous snake who,
Never took the time to actually get to know your son and unravel
All the gifts that he possesses
Who left a precious seed to fend for himself
Like a hungry vagabond who continues to blindly travel.

And by the time I will meet you, you will say
Bye whenever I finally get to say hi
And unconsciously my inside cries,
But yet my face remains dry
Because I will not let you see my emotion
Because you have filled me with cold veins as
Your life is now in vain but
No matter how successful I become it will never erase the pain
Of you being absent.

A lot of fathers are farther than families
A lot are farther than fathers are meant to be
But,in all realness some are actually fathers, while some are just "daddys"
But...I thank you, because thanks to your "efforts"
I know what I do not want to be
I WILL be there for my kids
Unlike you who wasn't there for me
And the sad reality is, you KNOW where I reside
...I guess you looking me in the face and staring at my eyes would affect your pride
Because on the inside you actually realize that the man I am today,
Has NOTHING to do with what you did, and more so of what you didn't do for me
And while my feelings and my knowledge for you starts to diminish
I realize that you do not possess qualities of a true man because
You started something....that you couldn't finish.

I've Got to be Me

I suffer too much for just being me,

I have an infatuation with being real

So, that is why I pay such an awful fee.

Being frank and honest may never

promote me ahead,

But I possess great peace of mind when

resting upon my bed.



I dislike throwing rocks and hiding in my

hands

Or faking a smile to meet the approval

of man.

Phony folks are so numerous and real

people are so rare

And whenever you act yourself, you get

the heat of the world's stare.



This dog-eat-dog affair is a game that the

whole world plays

While the good morals of our society are

buried under decay.

So go on my brothers, my sisters

And become what the world would have

you to be,

For I have already signed life's comfort,

I've got to be me

A Heart Never Forgets

A memory that is deeply burned within, scorched
Leaving a permanent mark from a heartfelt second long ago
A moment...one single moment, that only a heart can remember
A fleeting thought, gone astray, but the feeling will forever loom inside you
A man and a woman...so far apart, so long the days
That it took their hearts to remind them..
How fortunate they are, that a heart can return a fleeting thought
One single moment, or a memory, Burned within
So that they can now live together as one
As only inside true love,can such a past remain
Until...it is found again

The Frightening Truth

Is it a frightening truth
To utter I may have established attraction for you..
To declare I desire you..
To pronounce that;
I might mean everything for you
the way you do for me?

Is it a frightening truth
To help me truly apprehend;
Whether I have affected you
The way you have affected me?
Whether I am the right one for you
The way you are for me?

And whether the dissimilarities and disparities
I feel toward life and everything in it
Is also felt by you…

Is it a frightening truth
To let me discern;
Whether the nights
Are long and sleepless for you
The way they are for me?
And whether your day is incomplete
Without me...the way my day is;
Without you

Is it a frightening truth
To make me sentient;
Whether I have ornamented your life
The way you ornamented mine?
You domineered mine
You mastered mine?

Is it a frightening truth
That there are no tribulations we can't solve in the experiment of love
That if our feelings were multiple choice

The right answer would be "all of the above", and
Is it a frightening truth
To explain that you're the response to all my questions
That together we are the perfect score,
Because you complete me

Is it a frightening truth?

That although we both have history, and want to take it slow

So that we are not paying for the mistakes of the past

Of being left in the snow…and not letting it go

That at this moment this just feels right,

Spending those sleepless nights with you, just holding you tight

As you send me the constant reminder that

You might be the one, if not creating the blueprint to

The one that I aspire

Tell me my dear;
Is it a frightening truth
To explain that mysterious reassurance
In your blissful voice,
That unfathomable gaze
In your moonlit eyes,
Or that beautiful smile
On your face when you see mine?

Day after day
And
Week after week

The sands in this hourglass in this thing

We call life passes and
My mind is still wondering..
Is it a frightening truth?

Try and Try Again

I have always seen life for what it really is.
Ever since I was a child growing up, hard times are all that I know.
But I can honestly say that my trials and tribulations made the person who I am today.

I had to sit back and watch my mother work from sunset to sundown.
I had to sit back and watch my mother work herself to the bone.
Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of us.

Nothing ever came easy for her.
She always had a heart and kept a smile on her face.
But through a womans disgrace we knew that she was hurting...
But as the saying goes....so is life

Life is like a newborn baby struggling to come out of its mother’s womb,
life is a struggle true enough, but after all the struggling you have done,
and after all the hell you have been through, there is success.
Life is nothing but a big struggle, but just keep the faith and focus on your goals.

Don’t let life beat you or you will be walking around like zombies, lifeless with no direction.
Under your discretion you must, keep on pushing, keep on trying, life can be whatever you make it to be.
I took my life experiences and made them a part of me.

But life can also be that pie in the sky, rags to riches cinderella story.
I say this again; life is what you make of it.

You can achieve or conquer anything it throws at you,
you can’t quit or give up, you have got to keep on working,

Focus on progress with this process, because after all, the definition of insanity is trying to do the same thing, expecting a outcome.

Life is like a game of chess that almost always ends up in a stalemate.
Never let the king falter...

look higher some way, some how you are going to make it.

Control

Every man desires to control
To control events –to satisfy his yearnings,
To control disaster from free patrol,
To control his neighbor to satisfy his earning,
Even when his neighbor won’t enroll.

Be the man good or evil,
His countenance drops when his desire trails,
His thoughts breed threats of the devil,
His heart travails,
Frustration strikes the anvil.

His whims and caprices flare like hell,
Our weak neighbors succumb to it.
Our strong neighbors resist to hell,
Our indifferent neighbors never mind it,
Chaos hit us, making us yell.

Every man has the right to be free,
Free from positive control,
Free from negative control spree,
Free to make positive choices,
Advice,diplomacy can stop those negative voices

Sometimes

So I think about her...and think about her

Come to find out that,
She is a beautiful soul that
Isn't appreciated by her man at home
So I decide to write to her to provide an prologue to the novel of our
relationship

But...Sometimes I feel as if,
I cannot thoroughly describe my thoughts as I scribe on this pallet
As if her looks and personality doesn't already speak volumes.
Her looks and her attitude create perfect harmony, and its those
aesthetic synergies that have me yearning for her attention.

And sometimes I feel as if she should've been mine.
As if in another life its me she is holding passionately, instead of him.
The image is so vivid I feel as if it had already occurred.
One by one, three matches are lit in the night
The first to see her face
The second to see her eyes
The last to see her lips
I caress her body from head to toe tip
So when its dark all around, I can remember it all
While holding her in my arms.
I want to be the subject to her predicate, the yin to her yang, the
reason why she sings.

And sometimes I wonder why...
Why is she subject to the insecurities
And all the abnormalities that the relationship entails.
And I wish that I can tell her that I can be her knight in shining armor while
releasing her from those troublesome burdens that exists from someone
who thinks that "she's too good for me"

And sometimes I wish that I can look into those pools of remorse and
transform them into oceans of realization as she sketches a portrait
within my heart.
But I realize from the start that I'm wanting something that I cannot
have, but I feel that I can have anything I want if I give up the
belief that I can't.

Sometimes,
I feel as if she feels the same way.
As if day to day she wonders how it would've been if she said no to him
and yes to me...

The Sexual Encounter

…She knows that she is looking good

And as she walks past me I slowly approach her.

Removing her clothes with my eyes and planning my next move

As if it were already prearranged.

Because I don't think that she is ready for the calisthenic activity

in which we are about to engage.

So...we meet in the center like two warriors ready for battle

And I whisper in your ear,

Sweet things that make you weak,

those pleasurable nothings that makes you lick your lips while you don't speak about the future climax that you seek.

So our lips introduce themselves to one another, in such a way that

causes serene bliss while,

Thoughts of the best case formulate because we both do not know what to expect.

So I make the first move and,

Guide my lips and tongue to that spot on your neck

That aligns your earth and makes the rivers begin to flow

Creating that “we are not in Kansas anymore”, type of show and

Creates that happiness of the first winters snow and

You finally realize that all systems are go….

So you remove your dress, and as I

Look at the body in which you have blessed with and

My eyes seem to be transfixed and obsessed with your every move and

The bequest that I request that we suggest becomes more vibrant and

I confess that I would detest anything that would hinder this moment

So as we reach the rated r version of this diversion, my tongue and lips yearn to finish its excursion

So it travels further down your body,

My hands roam freely like the autumn leaves in the calm wind and

Down to your breasts, giving each sibling ample time so it,

Doesn’t feel as if one is neglected and so that both can pass a appropriate inspection while you just lay there, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

And my tongue begins to further its voyage, down to your waist as your panties start to shed

And I realize that now my manhood starts to ascend while

Your body starts to comprehend this feeling.

I decide to take a sample from your spring, while my tongue discovers every labia and

While it is the best thing I’ve ever tasted I can hear her whispering, telling me to enter,

So my manhood becomes intertwined with her womanhood and

The room spins as we become taken aback from this feeling so much that even the walls begin to sweat as they should

We don’t need any music because the sound of our breathing and her moaning create enough ambience as it would.

And as I go faster and faster, she asks for me to go deeper.

The temperature starts to rise as though

The tempo slowly reaches the rhythm of a crescendo

And we both know it as the veins in my neck and the whites of her eyes start to show

As we switch positions, you begin to hastily moan as I realize that I have found that spot and

The muscles in my leg are telling me to stop but I am going to continue to go until I feel your thighs…..lock….

So as I am making her bed and her world rock and

As we experience the fictional shell shock, our

bodies are playing in tune to similar harmonies

As we play cadences of our African American history

We both realize that this moment was at moment in the making, thus solving

The secrets to her mystery as she is passionately kisses me

And as if it were synchronized in a flash in time I feel her climax as I culminate and release while

She squeezes the mattress crease, screams in the pillow and clenches her teeth

And at that point of time we wanted time to bring to a standstill as I am laying beneath

And so we lay…Her chest stuck to mine as

We gaze into each other’s eyes as we realize that what had occurred was something more than sex

And with every reflex… we reflect as

The moon of dusk has now becomes dawn as the sweat is pouring off of our backs as I realize that

Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics

In which polar opposite charges attract.

Sex in multiple haikus

Moist with the deep thought,

wet with the touch,
As strangers become lovers

With an intense gaze
You smell as sweet as spring
Flower blooms tonight

lets start with a kiss
then let it build into more
As our bodies interlock

a dream
sweaty, breathing hard
…eyes wide shut

Tribulations

He screamed at her…
While the look in her eyes was something of complete fear and
She backed away from his path slowly while his rage ensued
All the while he was getting mad and,
Flipping over the couch, because she was late preparing his food.
All that passes in her mind was,
Her girlfriends constantly telling her to watch his temper but
She was so deep in love; she thought she would get past all of that until…

He hit her…
With a closed fist and enough force that,
It caused her to be taken aback and
Remind her of the times of the fights between her mom and dad
How she would hide in the back room crying and screaming
Because mom also thought that he was the best friend she ever had…
Now she lies with a crimson fist print in her face and a single tear in her eye
Never in her life she thought that he would do this to her
She recalls the time when they met and
Him claiming that he is not like other guys
And now, pools of remorse stream down her eyes
As she wonders where she went wrong…
All of sudden, he charges her, wringing his hands around her neck and ripping her clothes off her body until…

He rapes her…
And while she is kicking and screaming and no one hears her
He continues to unleash his rage and
So it seems as if the relationship has unraveled and has come of age
The last petal has finally fell from the rose that,
really didn’t have any roots to begin with
So she screams and screams and she punches and kicks until…

She gets away…
Out the door and down the steps, screaming, hoping that someone hears her cry,
However since the neighbors are used to the screaming of this “couple”
This time they turn a blind eye.
So she runs, not only for her safety, but also out of her mind.
And during every step, and every stride that she makes,
It only angers him, thinking to himself that she is making a big mistake.
And as she cuts the corner, thinking that she is finally free from his tyrannical grasp…

He catches her…
And she starts screaming and trying to escape
However he tells her to stop…
And stares at her….
And to her surprise, the same look of anger is not in his eyes,
But this time, it is a look of docility,
And this look has the ability
To give her the stability and support that she needed.
Because after all of her beckons for help
Someone made sure that it was heeded.
So he took her to safety, to refuge so that,
Her life can no longer in shambles due to the mental recluse and
She can move on to better beginnings….

And as I conclude, let me say that
A relationship, is a close special bond where,
Man and woman intertwine
Where the synergies of their world are truly divine.
So, when it is being tested, think about
How it has changed from its original ideology
And know when to leave when it evolves into tyranny

ME.....in only but so many words.

I am ...
A man
With a heavy heart, bathed in obscurity
Somewhere in an empty room ...
With eyes not quite of autumn's gold, and yet
Neither all of winters grey;

I wonder ...
If love is a fable made for children
A enchantment of sweet dreams in their innocence
A honey-coating to help their throats
Choke down the bitter drought ...

I hear ...
A voice that whispers warnings, half-spoken,
Bodiless as hope, until I swear I cannot draw
Another breath unless this ghastly figure be unmasked,
The lies mangled beneath my righteous tread;

I see ...
A man, proud, God fearing, uncompromising,
As sheer as air - less, even, than the tears
That fall in desolation about his weary feet,
Salt poison pooled upon the withered ground ...

I want ...
A measure of quietude, a certain silence,
The echo of loneliness which heals me of dreaming,
The nothing that stills the wanting,
The numb, the cold that chuckles at pain;
I am
A man,
hidden ...

I pretend ...
That I can live forever,
That Time
Has no power but that which I afford Him
And so, I can wait, I can be happy tomorrow,
Sleep is for the dead; but its ghosts haunt my waking ...

I feel ...
Too much, yet too deeply to be without direction,
Too real for imagining, and yet the familiar eyes
Hold nothing of recognition, only my reflection
A meeting of shadows in sunlit glass;

I touch ...
The downy wings of hope, in wonder,
In reverence, in need, in hunger;
Alas, it burns my fingers as a flame,
A sacrilege, self-defined ...

I worry ...
That I am alone; that in my longing
I have forsaken all, but what a reward,
What smile divine should light the path to freedom
And how can I but heed the siren's call?

I'm tired ...
For doing too much, without worrying about myself, for fear of bursting,
And then, when by the pouring of my soul
I lie, a vessel emptied, I think deeply again
Of when people would worry about me
For what was had, and lost;
I am
A man,
empty ...

I understand
That life is what you make it,
That sometimes, the facade of many colors
That marks your triumphs brightly, blends only
To the loneliest of grey ...

I say
That we are made by life, shaped,
Broken, perhaps unmade and voided
But always, the core of us remains, waiting
With only faith, with trust, to be reborn;

I dream
Of bluest waters, reaching
With unnatural hands toward the faded sky,
Of dolphins that wander in seas without limits,
Carrying me water-breathing past corals and clouds ...

I try ...
To lead by example, knowing
That merely the telling holds no power;
A gift of giving has the power of a day, while
A gift of knowledge has the lifespan of forever;

I hope ...
That my darkness embraces you gently,
That pain is halved by sharing, that feeling
Wields nothing past the words it summons,
Except that it touch you with only healing ...
I am...what I can only be...ME