flipping back the pages

Have you ever gotten out of a situation or a relationship, and later on down the road thought to yourself "What if I was still with that person??" Well this poem stresses that 


So as I sit back pondering over the idiosyncrasies of the life that is mine
I often wonder “What if she WAS there?”
What if she never released her underlying grasp, still being the luminary in the blue on which I fancy?
Would life have become more qualitative of the quantitative sort?
Or would it have whittled away aimlessly like the minute sands in the hour glass?
So as you can see, the effect she had on me was profound

Hence as I contemplate, and as my thoughts blemish the sheet which I am scribing with my feelings, thoughts and desires
Time passes and as she is no longer in my presence, I am no longer entranced by her physical appearance
Nevertheless, she crosses the intersection of my cerebellum enabling my mind to go through a mental traffic jam
The cars symbolizing my feelings towards her and the traffic lights symbolizing the pessimistic synergies that have been assembled over the time that we have known each other
In this case they are continuously on red
So I speculate, “Would it ever be the same?”

Would we ever have the same compatibility as we used to?
Or will we disconnect like dawn and dusk?
This is the question that I must answer in the quest for content 
Was this the one that got away?
The one who fulfilled my ego 
And conquered the mellow meekness of my soul…
If so, then my pursuit for completeness continues in its longevity
Searching for one who possesses the 3-dimensional harmony of looks, intellect, and personality
If not, then perhaps it was in our destiny that our paths become intertwined
Hers mixed with mine becoming a force.
And as I sit, and this sheet is now stained with my thoughts
I’m hoping that a symbol would present itself with the next step 
But until then, these idiosyncrasies would just have to remain unsolved...