Behind the smile

Social Media always allows those to see the best out of you. We put on facades to show the world that things are great. But what about those that are hiding so much pain. People always say that I am happy go lucky and I smile a lot...but do now know the half of it...Here is my view...behind the smile

Behind every smile there is a lot of pain.

Behind every ray of sun there is a patch of rain,

awaiting to fall but awaits the cloud of society to appear to distract everyone,

thus rendering you alone with your thoughts.

Causing you to overthink the fact that you think that you are overthinking...depression.

How do you hide the fact that you feel that you arent good enough.

Not allowing yourself to become stagnant by not believing any interpretation of "you are doing great",

as the snowball that is your confidence grows so much in magnitude that you can no longer escape it no matter how hard you try...

How can allow yourself to remain confident when growing up,

it was instilled in your head that you will never inhibit mental growth explicitly

that you will reach a mental plateau and never rise above it..

So im trapped...

with just a smile to hold back the pain that I have been feeling,

because mom always told me "Baby, never let them see you sweat"

...but now my perspiration offsets this facade and is now becoming overwhelming

To the point where I can longer smile to meet anyone elses approval especially when I'm in denial of my blessings. 

Mood swings back and forth like a pendulum as I wear my heart and feelings on my sleeve like an emblem

which allows vulnerability..disharmony in tranquility,

of what should be my alone time because

I over think thinking who's the enemy...

is it external or internally?....

But I have too much pride to explain why and how these feelings arise

because every one's life should be great according to Facebook and Instagram...right?

 On the other hand, people do not take the time to hear ones cry for help

Who helps superman when they are down?

Who helps a king after he pleases his constituents and takes off his crown?

Who gives advice to the one being beckoned to give it to them?

Who does one go to after everyone is done going to them?

"How are you" has never held so much magnitude

But until then,  I sit here with a smile to hold back the pain

A figurative band aid and visual mystification

to hide the scars and remains of my past that has led to my future being jaded

As I struggle with the idea of just ripping it off and allowing these scars to expose my inner thoughts...

Who knows... they actually  might heal...

But for now I'm letting the tears from this pen spill on this sheet

to form words to verbally and visually explain these feelings without being too verbose

So next time u see someone smile

ask yourself what could be behind it.

Because something as harmless as a smile,

Could be hiding something internally harmful to a person may not be confident to show you

or is it that you aren't confident enough to ask.....:-)......:-/