I Just Wanna Be.....Successful?

It's strange how all the emotions of life compile on us at the same time
So when gametime approaches we feel as if the weight of the whole world is bearing down upon us,
like being without an umbrella in the rain time
It's hard to be humbling during these troubling times,
To show humility while lacking faith in humanity,
Pressured to live up to a set of standards,
That was created long before you existed, but yet still has its fallacies
However if you do not comply to them, you will seem of insanity
Was this to promote success,
Or to hint the possibity of forward progress, within this slow process
Given the right environment, Social standing, And objective opportunities
In the early twentieth century
It was said if we educated society as a whole,
Crime would cease to exist,
Cleary this is and was not the case, thus creating more subtle remiss
Because everyone is different on a individual basis,
So choose the individual that you want to be
And not want people expect you to be because when you in the mirror, you wont like what you see
And remember Rome wasnt built in a day, it is a slow process
When a man feels throbbing within him the power to do what he undertakes as well as it can possibly be done, this is happiness....... this...is success

Media Genocide

Gunshots fly,
And...as we run and dodge from the disparity as we face reality of this hood tragedy...
She gets hit
And she drops to the ground, just like the credibility of the hood
People see things in music videos and think that to like that they should
So...whos to blame....blame the industry

Yea, the music that we listen to,
contains simple, yet complex messages
that becomes etched in our heads subliminally at youth
and when we go to bed, that is all that we think about

So this "industry", this multi billion dollar industry,
contains so much clout and credibility that we begin to test its abilities
First by degrading women into shallow transgressions, thinking every encounter is a sex session,
all because they see a woman being trashed by a rapper because that his "role model"
So now, chivalry is dead because being an asshole is the new "gentleman"
....But I digress

So now, this young woman, honor student, sister, daughter, and aunt
is now on the pavement writhing in pain with a bullet in her lung
all because a bunch of people argued over something pointless
And they pointed this gun amongst one another
It seems as we try to bring each other up,
But a few lead the crowd in bringing down others
So who's to blame....blame the industry

This industry, captures artists with a dream, and
molds it into their own beliefs because underneath all they care about....is the almighty dollar
So women, cars, and guns become the trending topic
While positivity becomes microscopic....because its not cool
As artists play as puppets to the masters game while they
think that they are closer to fame
But as our youth fight, shoot each other and are maimed
We are the ones to blame....but we dont notice it...
Because the money and the music is good.

The industry doesnt care about your talent,
but about who an play the game,
whos dying to get in, just to find out that they dont fit in
and those with a strong mind are the ones with the fame.
Selling their souls in order to survive
But they dont give a damn about you
But in all reality, they wont make a DIME without you

Blame the industry, for using artists as a pawn to program people as a tool to spread hate
using the universal language that is music
And we are so naive to following the beat and not the lyrics that we are unable to see through it.
So we follow and acknowledge it religiously, causing it to be a way of life as if we are born to do it.
So we dress like this and talk like that , as a facade of what the artists reflect
However we dont realize that what we do creates a small microcosm that gets stronger than what we expect

So yea...blame the industry
Because they are the ones who are at the forefront of this puppet show
And the sad reality is that you feel as if you wont start making a stand and actually caring,
until the person that is lying in the street...is someone that you know.

Round 2

So months turn to years, and the attraction I have for you has grown stronger, to the point where it starts to become lust no longer,

So now I want to love you, not only as a partner but as a couple in too deep

And as the feeling of lust evaporates the wonderment if love begins to seep

I want to love you in a special way like glass, strong but crystal clear.

As I hold you near I whisper in your ear things that would alleviate our worst fears.
I want to make love to your every intricacy by first squeezing and sucking your breasts to quench my thirst.
Then gently at first blowing love through your lips and making love to your lungs,

As I grab your hips and start to use my tongue

My heart squeezes yours and mines together until your mind blows,
And you can't think.

I want to bite your neck, sending a sexual sensation through your nervous impulses and into your heart,
Pumping love in and out through your veins until it reaches your feet,
And your toes curl.

I want to stroke you gently and softly to caress not only your being,
But to feel the warmth of your flesh.
Your body next to mine, holding and embracing with the connection of a lock and key of life and love so you can't let go or go to the next one.

Let me love you hard so I can drill through your hurts and your pains,

Paving and laying bricks to guard your heart from your trials and tribulations.

Building a dam so that when your flesh feels weak your spirit won't break from the wear and tear of the enigma that is called life

Let me love you over and over again as though it were a climactic story that never ends.

If you were my book the letters of your words would be carved in my heart as though it were a novel felt, but never read.

This is the way to love, you have to love easy but feel hard.

You have to pay the price of sacrifice in order to grow a love, which is deeply fulfilling.

Showing respect to every fiber of her being

That is the best way to love and to make love by not just having sex, but to connect.

Lust vs. Love

Although in the same house each shall have a room, as they are distinct
Love is blind, while lust has eyes wide open so that we can play its games
As love is unpredictable as a new day, lust is the night at the bar with insane thoughts of "new beginnings" while the end point remains the same

As love speaks the truth, lust can just lay silent mystified others
Love need not be beautiful but lust makes it a prerequisite
Love may abstain, but lust cannot
By its nature it thrives in banquet
While love satifys you so much that you yearn for more, lust is the craving for salt of a man who is dying of thirst, it makes it worse
Because while the desire of love is to give, the desire of lust is to get.

Love is pure but lust wrestles for what it desires
Love is a process and lust just happens to transpire
Love is looking past the fallacies and impurities because you know that they complete you
Lust is hiding behind a false transparency so that you can please someone, while at the same time not loving yourself
Love is something divine that
falls from the heaven to earth
It expects nothing for it but
It renders everything to others including itself
Love never ends in lust but
it grows as affection and respect
Lust is in the mind. It expects to exploit others to satiate it's needs
Matured love becomes filled grace
lust may not be so, because of its limited time and space
Immature lust spoils the character and life when it develops as aggressive
Love never feeds the violence but
Lust grows and replenishes urging to stay
True love never dies for it is lust that goes astray.
Love bonds for a lifetime but lust always pushes away.
Love requires work, while lust desires play
And while love predicts the future, lust can only predict today

So you say, "I let guys get close, then push them away"....does that mean you're falling in love, and scared of what could be...or engaged in lust, and worried about what won't be?

Random Thoughts

What am I looking for?....Hmm question...

I'm looking for a God fearing woman...so that growth is constant
..But in retrospect I'm looking for a girlfriend.

I'm looking for a partner. Someone I can share with, not someone I can play with, because I put my childish things away. Life's like that sometimes, I guess.

I'm looking for someone who I can talk to, and emote with. Someone whom I can be real and not sugarcoat with Someone I feel a connection with. Someone I feel an equality with but not possessing frivolity so....Thats what I'm looking for.

I want someone I can share my life with, such as it is, and someone who will share their life with me. Not life as in marriage but as in the aspects of today.
I want what my parents seem to have. They don't agree on some things, but agree on other things, but they can always talk about all things. Well, OK, that's a little more than what my parents have, but who's to say that I shouldn't want more than they've had?

I'm looking for someone who shares interests with me. Who will go to the grocery store and be a little bit silly occasionally. Who isn't afraid of a little bit of adventure while possessing a bit of docility?

I don't need much, I'm not really that kind of guy, but every once in a while, I just want to breathe. I like someone I can go to an action movie with, and afterward, talk about just how silly it was that the main character didn't die, or even the parts that would never happen. Someone I can go to a movie with, and, when the sappy parts come on, all I have to do is glance over, and know what they're thinking, and maybe get a kiss out of it.

Someone I can go for a walk with, but not feel pressured into it, just have it be a mutual part of the relationship. Someone I can share a good book with. Someone whom I can both share an intellectual conversation and turn into a vegetable in front of the TV with. I'm looking for someone who's not afraid of change, but relies on stability. Someone who has the ability to love and be loved, and willing to let that be the point of the relationship that possesses stability. Someone I can depend on, but someone who can depend on me at the same time.

I'm looking for someone I can be intimate with, someone I can be connected to. Someone who shares my ideals, who respects who I am, and is occasionally willing to laugh in bed.

I'm looking for someone special, someone mature enough to recognize my needs and express theirs, but free enough to explore virgin territory. I'm looking for someone who is sometimes a sap, sometimes a cynic, and sometimes a philosopher......hmm... I think I'm looking for too much.

Dedicated to my little Brother Anthony

Under grinded flakes of clouds
gathering echoes of children
who sprinkle laughter to ears
he sits
Quietly on hooves of steel
bond by flaps of leather
and Reeboks
Toes tight, tense to
the usual sights and sounds
of rigorous running
An invasion of intoxicating
excitement bellows beckoning
like balloons ready to burst
He awaits stout in
strapped stagnancy to
the leather plated backrest
for a push to join in the joyous
occasion of recess
Twines of his hair
tangle in the subliminal breeze
The hairless girl
cornered with him
weaves her cancered
fingers regrouping
his thick locks
Each takes the gift
of normalcy
to the future
for one day it will
be theirs
Hands gripped they
belong,
if only to each other
Within these tedious seasons
they wait for a cloudless sun
together in the magic of hope

Untitled

Another moon promised
as she dangles her foot
over my denim pants
letting her stiletto slip
casually from her heel

Stars foiled the sky
as we spoke verses and bridges of,
hymns of love
that refrained ever after
my words coiled
as if a mirage making magic

I flicked my cigarette
to the silver coated pavement
and it sizzled from the heat
here I vowed before the cosmic powers
that we would never be parted

The moon took us on a ride
as we floated on loves magic carpet
But again the stars in our eyes
were brighter than those in the sky

As always for us, the moon chipped away
to a sliver
the grey was here
the spiraled staircase collapsed
and I became the rain and snow
as her colored lashes
smeared the sheet
and the seams split from the pulling
The night's cruel words echoed like thunder
resounding in my ears
shading the moon in a halo of hashish delusion
as the ring punctuated the storm

I died that night to be born again
as the prism of light
around the moon finally passed
and the ice crystals departed
so as a new moon could come
pure and clean without storms

However just thinking about it brings back Invalid images, like wings on a fairy
flutter endlessly through the sky
The moon just a crevice in the gray
echoes your name and I respond
Saturated with wine
you float before my eyes
Tears form from the strain
for you are gone and I am alone

What task takes you to another place
the restlessness, the silence of me
Did I linger too long and become passive
I thought you would remain
through all the shapes of the moon

The liquor takes me back
and I try to rethink
Did I toil too much, and listen too little
or was I lost in the spell of life
Unable to give you the thing you wanted

Objectification

Freud said it best
and all of us believe it
that you sistas
envy us brothers,
and it was all
because of our penis

this penis
thinking on its own
often destroying homes
infused with testosterone
running like a mad man
even destroying his own

this penis
big, black, or my case honey brown penis
brings domination to black homes while
beating wives into submission
and children, love is missing
‘cause “i’m the man of this house
and i’ll swing a big stick to prove it.”
black eyes blue
and rib’s almost broke as
life seeps away
with black hands
on black throats.

that penis
engages in power struggles
head to head
in corporate boardrooms
resulting in modern day
Watergates, Enron, and MicroSoft gloom
and poor men
minimum wage-hued
are left in unemployment lines
as swinging sticks
smoke cigars
in poker played
back rooms.

that penis
truly the heart’s cock-block
keeping you lover for loving- emotionally
‘cause physicality has the heart
she wants feel love but
he hits and quits – lust
and she’s left to feel empty while
he’s satisfied with heartless thrusts

full of perversion
and stolen lives lived
wives beaten into submission
innocent, anal ripped deals
So…is this penis
testosterone filled
really the cause for envy?

Her Eyes Seduced Me

We lock eyes….and she seduces me

As I look into her eyes
all that seems important is trivial now.

there is no deadline to meet, no meeting to run to, no project to think of.

Because Her eyes are where the skies meet the sea
The sudden subtle change from the lighter
Shade that, though bent, can go on forever
To the partition of inflected darkness
Hiding secrets the world wouldn’t care about anyway
But I do…

Then there are the specks of gold
The sun reaching down to graze the surface with unbelievable tenderness
Seeming to drive deep, still seeming to float
On the Surface, yet welling up from within
Some silhouette of her amazing light
And I’m blinded…

Because she seduced me….with just her eyes

Satiation

We all see homeless people and bums out on the street. Although we feel for them or sometimes wince at their stench or even talk about them, have you ever had the chance to think about how they got there....

Can I have some more?
Can you spare a dime?
Yeah you can walk past me, and its fine
But have you ever took the time, to look past the grime
To question the reason why I am homeless?
The reasons why my satiation has yet to be filled
And why I still have the urge to beg you?

Yes, I’m human just like you,
And although the clothes and stench may have you fooled
The truth is that I was ONCE in your shoes
But do you have any idea of how it feels to have everything taken away from you?
Blessed to have a family and a job,
To come home to a home cooked meal and alleviate my child’s sobs…
To hear the stories of my family’s day,
The 100 on the spelling test and the game winning catch at the little league game
The raise received at work, and the cries of my daughter who can’t find a date yet for the prom
Thought life couldn’t get any better
Until that fateful day when it happened to me
On March 28th 1993
My family was in the wrong place at the wrong time
Succumbed to wounds of a collision
And no they weren’t under my provision
Because it was under my suspicion
That once 6pm Friday hit….something was wrong
I found out my family was gone………and I lost it

I LOST IT ALL!!!!
My family, my life…..my mind…..everything
After my release from the asylum, my lease was up, my job was too….and my belongings belonged to someone else….
So I began bathing in a nearby pond,
Eating food at places that I wasn’t too fond
And trying to receive clothes from nearby charity bonds
And seeing people slowly abscond
Just to remain afloat
But see, when you have nothing in your possession
And no support to lean on,
The possibilities of a second chance is remote
So, Mr. Gates, can YOU spare a dime, although you have trillions
And can You Mr. Athlete help out a fan, although you have millions……I THOUGHT SO
Ostracized by society because I didn’t meet the societal norm
And I truly have seen how my education didn’t mean SHIT…if you can’t walk in an interview without a pressed suit.
I really thought things would get better
Save for my only possessions…..$10.00, a Metrocard, a pair of jeans and this blue sweater

So….once again…have you thought about how I’m feeling right now
How I am surviving, how I maintain, how I’m just getting by
This dollar has meant more to me than ever before
And IM TIRED of being turned around by closed doors
Running from place to place for satiation in the winter
If you were me, you would never take anything for granted
Because although the life that you live may be enchanted
Even Cinderella’s coach turned back into a pumpkin
No I’m not like this because I’m lazy,
Nor do I say all of this because I’m crazy
But because my future seems hazy….
In these streets, taking it day by day.
No one to help me and falling asleep to the rattling sounds of
The change that is in my cup
But…..until that times comes,
Where God can see my full potential, and I can live just fine….

Can I get some more?......Can you spare a dime?

The Beauty of Sex

Bodies moving as one
Intertwined by love
Beauty personified

Life's Migration

Geese are coming home;
I just wish to fly away.
What can I trade for wings?

Inmate #28301-035

Inmate #28301-035,
Another nameless, faceless criminal taken off the streets
within the skip of a hearts beat
Another shameless, brainless hazard to society
Locked up behind bars, for no less than 25 years
To protect the "righteous" members of this community
To keep him away from u and me
Inmate #28301-035, another man walking through the halls of this prison complexity
Another violent offender, another one resisting arrest
Another one refusing to surrender, another plea of innocence
Obviously a lie, no matter how hard he fights and insists
Another one chasing his aspirations, chasing the American dream
Another street corner celebrity with mad street credibility because of a family history of inherited criminality

Inmate # 28301-035, another young black man working on these concrete cotton fields for free
Another American chain gang shackle, another victim of modern day slavery
Another young black king convicted for the darkness of his skin
For the poorness of his wealth, for his mental health, for the prejudice about his kin

Inmate #28301-035, another one sharing a tiny cell
Dividing the crowded space, forced to live with men he can't stand well

He's gotten used to the noise, the struggle, the violence, the putrid smell...of fear...and uncertainty
He used his voice, he tried to reach out, he can't stand this living hell, that has no purgatory
The courts don't care, the warden don't care, the CO's couldn't care less
He's on his own, his family rolled out,
He hasn't seen his son in too long, his life became one big mess, that was once promising and blessed

All there's left now is state issued rags, a pencil, his thoughts and his address, while he sits and prays by his mattress
Once again he's a paper chaser, who is fighting to stay alive to fulfill the dream he sought
Commissionary is too expensive, no money's coming in
So he tries his luck in gambling and hustling, becomes a prison style money maker
A beast among the animals in this struggle for life, doing his own time on his half acre..... of hell
What once was love is not the past, hatred feeds the hater and his lost soul dwells

Inmate #28301-035, u can see through it and reach through it but u can't walk out that threshold
U can't use the phone, u can't use the shower, only one plate at lunch, there's never room for 'I want more' or 'my food is too cold'
In the belly of the beast the dragon pleas to be unleashed
To be released into the crease this paradise of demons, so he can enjoy a century of war.
However the police that wrongfully accused him, are still out there probably smiling underneath, because they are the real theives by stealing a life while not accepting defeat

But u are not forgotten, u are not another statistic, u are not alone
Ur bloodrelated relatives are gone, their dedication to forget u is full grown
They'll remember u when u reclaim ur throne, not realizing ur heart has turned into stone
But in the madness of hell, heaven was sent to ur cell
An upside down smell, on the outside of a paradise dwells
A promise of eternity, tranquility, society's respectability and family stability
Could the complexity of this mystery turn the promise of true love into a futile ability.
Even though you are still a tormented member of this penal facility?

Inmate #28301-035, inmate in this system of reformation
Consciously forgotten by a nation, thinking they can force upon u criminal salvation
On this 2010 slavery plantation, the people ignored the mental picture's deformation
Young black king in this society within a society
A demostration of impropriety and notoriety

Inmate#28301-035, is now your identification, ur confirmation of ur criminal mentality,
who takes on many facets of a brother, husband, and a pillar of strength in this struggle's variety
Inmate #28301-035, I love u with all my heart and I wanted to say...

"Ok, inmate #28301-035 visiting hours are over for today, go back to your cell"

Damn......

In her eyes

I look into her eyes...but I see nothing there but pools of withdrawal, remorse, and sorrow
In her eyes, she's been hurt by people who she thought she could trust, and she thought it was a must to confide in, and in her heart they would reside in...but was here today, gone tomorrow

In her eyes, she thought those same people would remain in her life.
However, these eyes are the same ones that peeved her, were the same ones that listened and received her, but didn't even trust and believe her
Telling her that they would be here to retrieve her.... but all they did was deceive her.

Over time, these eyes of hers tended to see fantasy rather than reality, full of empty promises.
They tend to feel what they want to feel.
Tend to know what they want to know, but not what SHE wanted to know....and created an eerie pall of sorrow

Why can't these eyes see what is truly there?
Through this crystal stair, they can see those flaws in the surface.
Why can't these eyes finally believe that the people who
Hurt her are the people who are waiting, and hoping and praying to see her fall?
And through it all, will not be there to pick her up.
Why are her eyes full of salty tears as she is given a constant reminder of the pain?

However, these eyes are learning something new.
These eyes are noticing the only few people in her life worth having, and embracing them
The few people in her life that won't make her eyes shed tears of sadness
But a tear of happiness

For these are the people which she can clearly see that will be there for her.
In her eyes, she knows that these people that she trusts will not hurt her and look out for her best interests...being the wind beneath her wings, as she slowly ascends toward the sun in cloudy skies.
And In her eyes, she knows who will last........ forever.

Lustful Indulgence

Enraptured lust,
Naked as intended, 
Climatic exchange

Between flights, furtive,
The heart reduced to Morse code
-- - --- - Feet tapping in stalls.

"Niggas Aint Shit" - Our Response

You are always telling your girlfriends this nonsense about how "niggas aint shit"
Well... The answer to this is simple...how about you stop dating these "aint shit niggas"

But have you ever sat down and actually reflected on why you sulk and complain about how
you're about to be "on to the next one",
because the current one you have...is just like your last one
and how all of them are just like your past ones, and no one can be "just like your best one"...but your still single?

Maybe it is because you place your standards a little too high,
You want what every body else wants you to have, not seeing past the physical facades
Looking for that swan... but your the ugly duckling
Not but beauty, but by grace
And its a disgrace how you put every dude in this one category but your looking in the same damn place,
when in reality the one that can treat you right and yearns for your embrace...
.is actually right in front of your face.

Or maybe it is because there may be something about YOU that make dudes want to not deal with you for too long.
Its funny how you always play the victim, while spitting the same symptoms of how you became single, but not once have you said what you did.
We're not calling you liars, but we just find it funny how EVERYTIME you're pronounced single its because of what he did, and not what you did, or didn't do.

Or maybe its because you let your last relationship dictate your next.
How you won't take a chance because "you heard it all before" or a situation reminds you of your past mistakes.

So you put up a shield and EVERY dude that approaches you, you start to let him get close,
but then you push them away, and remain unsure because you feel a snake strikes best
when ones guard is down.

Well sweetheart you never know what's in store until you take your hand off the e-brake and put yourself in cruise control,
but your still so mystifyed by what he did to you...
that we can't win.

Yea, we know that you have been
hurt in the past,
But that does not mean you can put us on blast by establishing your opinion too fast,
because you feel that ALL men must suffer because of what a FEW men have done to you.
Because I REFUSE to pay for his mistakes.
And you letting your past affect your futures fate,
While the one that you are destined for will have to wait to partake
because your so busy looking for "Mr. Right, and not "Mr. Right Now",
which explains how your single, not because you choose to be,
but because you WANT to be because if you cannot find tranquility within yourself,
it is useless to seek it elsewhere.

So yea, you keep believing that "niggas aint shit"
All this attitude is going to do
Is turn the good ones away from you.
You do realize that the more you say these 3 words, we take 3 steps back,because we refuse to be attacked for trying to defend ourselves for something that we didn't do
When with all due respect, it might not be these "aint shit niggas" that is keeping you single
the problem might actually be....you

To Live Means To Break

To live means to break
One's heart for the sake of love;
A couple of doves,
Beaks touching on their way,
Are stepping out in the sun.

i want to have an affair

So...I want to have an affair
Yea, we preach against infidelity,
But its my curiosities and your insecurities that make it more intriguing.
I guess that 20 percent, although small, has had a high magnitude and as
You leave for work and as usual we argue, my phone starts furiously ringing.
I guess the feelings have overcome you as well.

Weeks and weeks of just "talking"
Stating the obvious with no action.
Talking a good game, but with no training to adequately back it up...until a knock on my door

So...you come over..
In just a trench coat and some red heels
Just like page 37 in that Zane novel, my fantasies become more vivid.

So..we go to the room and
As you remove your trench coat I realize your wardrobe, mmm,mmm,mmm vickis secret, my favorite brand.
And you take my hand and begin to kiss my neck
The tensions begin to rise because we both know what to expect...and so does my manhood.

So, as we remove each article of clothing, our hands message each others bodys, no need for baby oil because our bodies are covered in each others lust.
I'm feeling young again, because since all she is doing is working, I need to erase this ring rust...its a must

And I begin to think about how, this won't complicate things, because after all of this, it is still considered a fling, so my goal is to make her moan and have her soul scream..in a harmonious melody.

Her body begins to yearn for me as foreplay is not longer enough
We begin the next phase, I lay her on the bed and although silent I gaze into her eyes, and realize that..she wants it rough.

So, yea...I'm having an affair, and it feels goooood. I guess if she wouldve pleased me as she should this scenario would be a "would of" instead of a "might of or could of" but...let's return to our regularly scheduled program

You begin to dig your nails in my back as I go deeper, switching rhythms like a metronome that's unsure of the tempo and as we begin to climax...the sound of keys in the door begin to become more audible.

O shit! She's home...how the hell am I going to find an excuse that is plausible in such a way that I remain credible...images of me saying, "Yea I never seen her a day in my life" or "these earrings are yours " begin to formulate as she is hastily trying to find an exit.

Realizing that there is no way out, my soldier still stout as we begin thinking about, how the hell you are going to get out. And as I find a turtle neck to make the scratches and hickeys obscure, I begin to hear her mouth. "Baby, you still here?"
Now my nervousness becomes fear as her footsteps begin to make its way to the room, and I realize that soon 1+1 =3 will not seem like the right math.

"I'm glad you found your way over, now we can start"...as she kisses her...my mouth agape, I realize that maybe she had the last laugh....or did she...you decide.

flipping back the pages

Have you ever gotten out of a situation or a relationship, and later on down the road thought to yourself "What if I was still with that person??" Well this poem stresses that 


So as I sit back pondering over the idiosyncrasies of the life that is mine
I often wonder “What if she WAS there?”
What if she never released her underlying grasp, still being the luminary in the blue on which I fancy?
Would life have become more qualitative of the quantitative sort?
Or would it have whittled away aimlessly like the minute sands in the hour glass?
So as you can see, the effect she had on me was profound

Hence as I contemplate, and as my thoughts blemish the sheet which I am scribing with my feelings, thoughts and desires
Time passes and as she is no longer in my presence, I am no longer entranced by her physical appearance
Nevertheless, she crosses the intersection of my cerebellum enabling my mind to go through a mental traffic jam
The cars symbolizing my feelings towards her and the traffic lights symbolizing the pessimistic synergies that have been assembled over the time that we have known each other
In this case they are continuously on red
So I speculate, “Would it ever be the same?”

Would we ever have the same compatibility as we used to?
Or will we disconnect like dawn and dusk?
This is the question that I must answer in the quest for content 
Was this the one that got away?
The one who fulfilled my ego 
And conquered the mellow meekness of my soul…
If so, then my pursuit for completeness continues in its longevity
Searching for one who possesses the 3-dimensional harmony of looks, intellect, and personality
If not, then perhaps it was in our destiny that our paths become intertwined
Hers mixed with mine becoming a force.
And as I sit, and this sheet is now stained with my thoughts
I’m hoping that a symbol would present itself with the next step 
But until then, these idiosyncrasies would just have to remain unsolved...

The woman at the bar

They stare, Men o pause. . .
As the men suck in their guts
While she passes them.
One by one they approach her
...But she is not interested