African Queen

African Queen
“Just like the sun…lights up the earth, you light up my life”
Words never rang so true about her
For she embodies all that would make any man sink to their knees..
From her ebony skin to her rich full bodied hair…
If her touch was labeled as forever then I have entered the realm of infinity
She possesses that sought after trinity of beauty, brains and personality
And it is that compatibility that draws me to her

“The only one I’ve ever seen, which a smile so bright”
With the uncanny ability to illuminate a room with her beautiful smile while,
Making me feel giddy inside as if I’m a child…damn she drives me wild.
As I think about her I wish I can clutch to her as women clutch handbags
Encapsulating every essence of our experience as if it was our last.

She is African beauty,
That all natural no frills, come as you are, beauty
That “You don’t even need make up or jewelry” to turn heads beauty
That “God broke the mold, when He made you” beauty
If beauty is skin deep then you are close to the bone…
With a style so pure, it is personified by elegance and confidence,
As you gracefully saunter because you know that you are from royalty
She is… my African Queen….

I had a dream

I had a dream...
That it was just me and you alone, as we
Slow danced to the ocean waves as our feet sunk into the sand while,
Staring into each other’s eyes as the crescent moon is our only source of illumination
Etching into my mind this mental illustration, hoping we can stay here forever,
I had a dream…
That Time stood still as if the earth orbits around our memories
Our hearts synchronized in the same cadence as if we were one in the same.
Our love for each other set adrift aimlessly in the right direction
And as I think about this encapsulated moment of perfection
I digress…
Because it was all a dream
I woke up from this dream,
And I realize that it was what it was
Just a figment of my imagination as we
Meet each other in person but we struggle to remember each other’s name...
But I can feel the connection that we would have
If our paths intertwined
If by some strange instance in time you were mine…
But I can only hope….I can only wish…..
But I know that happiness….
Is just a dream away….

Humble Beginnings

Contrary to what you may see and believe…I come from humble beginnings
My life hasn’t always been flowers growing and birds singing
But more of a trying upbringing, filled with tears and broken promises
“Whats humble?”
I will gladly tell you
Humble
Is growing up in a house with 3 people, and having only enough money to make one meal a week and make it last… praying that the cornbread rises because we couldn’t afford eggs to put in the recipe…because that was what was left until the WIC check came in
Humble
Is being taken away from my parents, and placed into custody of someone who made my life a living hell
Humble
Is wearing hand me down clothing that was a couple sizes too small, because your foster mother spends your check elsewhere.
Humble
Is choosing the option of selling drugs to put money in my pocket so that I can provide for my little brother because that was the ONLY way you was gonna get money.
Humble
Was being able to muscle a smile through the pain, while holding false hope as we thought this situation would never cease
Humble
Is crying myself to sleep hoping that each day would get better
Humble
Was getting through it alone, just me and God
No one to talk to…
No one to confide in…
No one to trust…
Because everyone thought I was crazy because she was a “nice lady”
Humble
Is being able to swallow the bullshit and take the punches as they were given.
I look at my life now…
And I think of where I came from
And while I can proclaim how blessed I am, I can lose everything in a heartbeat
So I take life one day at a time, while constantly thinking of my humble beginnings.

Old Flame Emotion

Have you ever thought about an ex?

Or even have an ex as a friend?







My feelings are all over the place

Even more as the day progress

Trying to figure out this conundrum

That drifts back to a romance blossom,



An old flame, from a wilted candle

Ancient emotion has risen into temptation

Wrapped me up in a silent vow

And makes me forget here and now,



Despite all the hurry all around

Little details sit idly in my mind

Chaining the time inside

While the world spinning outside,



Both love and lust, pulses through my soul

Reigniting the past, getting those sparks to roll

Invading ability of thoughts to conform

Dragging them over a huge brainstorm.



.

Elevators

The elevator of life



Elevators

A convenient way

To reach our destination.



The elevator of life however

Is not as convenient or simple

As up is down the path of delusion,

And down looks up toward awareness.

The open door button is the negativity that you let into your life,

Thus ruining the insides

The close door button represents your pride,

How you wouldn’t let everyone see through you at risk of being seen as vulnerable

So as you see someone running trying to catch your life’s elevator

You close the door….



And sometimes your elevator breaks down

But you refuse to take the stairs because you realize that they do not possess that adamantine luster

Because you was mystified in thinking that it was crystal.

As much as we hope that our elevators are different…..realize that they are all going in the same direction

Some go up, some down, some start at the ground floor and some….start at the basement

But just like in life, an elevator doesn’t stay down…..something or someone wants it to go up



So as we accept the journey of the ups and downs that is our life,

The elevator finally stops.

Capturing serenity through balance.

She

She…

Is a beautiful black woman who knows what she wants out of life

A beautiful head upon positive shoulders

A sister, friend, aunt and inevitably…a wife

That is what she is



She…

Is constantly physically and even metaphorically portrayed as a,

Scantily clad façade of pride who is only appreciated more, when she takes off less

When approached my men, she knows they are thinking about how she looks under that dress

Because of her coke bottle figure and her perky breasts

Under constant duress because the media made her this way

Made her to feel as if she isn’t a person, but an object

Because of porn videos, music videos and reality TV.

And to her dismay whatever reputation she has established,

Would demolish at the mere sound of “make it rain trick"



She…

Is constantly reminded that she is not beautiful

Because every ad, tv show, movie, and magazine portrays what society considers beauty

Has truly taken away from the true denotation of the word

Sex sells and those with a nice body, make the most commission

So it is her mission to get like those women on TV



…But it isn’t what she….looks like



So she starts dieting, and working out,

Wearing make- up and changing her wardrobe,

because of what the media has etched in her head…

Wearing lip gloss and eye liner to bed, JUST so she can look good in the morning



She isn’t she….anymore



She…

Is now a mere shadow of what she used to be

She… has allowed herself to fall victim to the “Barbie”, Top Model and “Maybe it’s Maybelline” America

She...would now rather listen and pay more attention to Nicki Minaj, than Nikki Giovanni

Now a pawn in life’s game of chess and the mover of the pieces is society

She…has now taken on a new identity to conform to the “formalities” that the media has deemed “current”

She…has forgotten where she has come from

And although her parents brought her up right…even she….couldn’t escape…..

.

Tribulations of Life

In this dog-eat-dog world that surrounds us

We sometimes brake down and fall

We try too hard to satiate the approval of all

And sometimes we feel that those who stand above us

Can make us seem unimportant and small

So we begin to tremble under the weight of the problems that,

like a paperweight, holds us down



We maintain a smile on the outside but that smile is really a concealer to our frowns

And when we start to collapse there seems to be no one around

So you feel as if you are alone…as if you knocked a tree over...and no one hear its sound

So, we’ll hide away in corners

Put upon ourselves pain

Walking thru life’s thunderstorm without anything to guard us from the rain

Realize that although the way you feel towards those idiosyncrasies of your life are of disdain

No one is immune to the trials we face in life… we all must suffer the same



So although we may struggle

And yes we sometimes slip and fall

Just know that I’ll stand by your side

I’ll stay with you through it all

And if while riding the wheels of life you feel yourself tremble

Or even brake down to the point where your feet are scraping the ground

I’m your shoulder to cry on, your spare tire, there to pick you up

And I’ll always be around



Yes, We all have our faults

Our valleys, our hills, ups and our downs

We cant always smile all the time

Everyone has to go through their fair share of frowns

No, no ones perfect

And no one is the same

We’re in this world together

And although in distinct levels, we are all playing the same game

We try to fight in this world the best way we could,

but it always seems to be on the mode to attack

Sometimes we’re not strong enough though

or we feel that are too many things we lack

But realize that although it seems as if you are in a corner, and everyone seems to turn its back

This minor setback is just a setup for a great comeback



If we stick together through thick and thin

No matter whats to come

With faith and trust in our Lord and Savior

Anything in His will can be done

Trust, we all get those bad times

Those times where all is lost



But giving up on your passions would just be at a greater cost

Each and every one of us goes through a part in our lives that is tough

But I promise it will get better..just don’t you ever give up


But when you feel like you want too

just please remember this

One can die at any time…

Without anything else to give

But it takes a strong person to keep their head up, keep the faith....and live

Scars

I’m sick and tired…..

Of people staring at me as if I have a red stain on my white shirt and not in my eye in respect

But what can you expect when you have visible scars?

When the first thing people do among first glance…is stare at your forehead…

My first impression is to question your maturity,

but what gives me the authority to not act normally

When what is just a blemish is now my biggest insecurity.

Oh how I wish these were just hidden in obscurity

And I can erase that accident and the effects of it away from me



But….more than ever I realize that now….these scars…..are part of my identity

A visual testimony...

Of strength

Of God working to prove..that I am not done yet….

So….continue to stare….continue to question

Yea….to me it is more of a personal transgression

But your minute obsession and facial expression as you try to process the congestion of marks on my skull….flatters me

Because what you may consider as an imperfection

I see….as a blessing

Why

Why?



I sit here

Pondering, thinking to myself

Why?

Yes…that is a vague question and a

Satirical subject with a plethora of predicates

So how would one go about answering this type of question?

I will try and I won’t be too delicate



Why?

Do we live in a society where our role models are those who speak false truths

Modern day coons, who instead of wearing black face have tattoos…

Who would rather shuck and jive, turn their swag on with their sagged skinny jeans

In videos with women whom we all would want in our wildest dreams

Then speak the truth

Why…do artists like Nas and Wyclef who actually speak about the translucent truths

Do not sell records while the ones that are….are just saying empty words



Why?

Do we focus more on the “realities” of TV as way to escape our personal reality

How the water cooler discussion is about Darwin and Melanie and not about “How is your family?”

When in all actuality, the real true tragedy is that we face, are hidden by images of

A celebrity getting married or the latest Jersey Shore fight



Why?

Do more people apply to be on shows like American Idol and The Real World,

Than apply for colleges where they can utilize their talents for the real world?



Why?

Do we use our fingers to speak our mind?

Trying to get a point across by use of a text and we assume that these messages would convey the emotion…..of a voice

And although we have a choice, we choose what is convenient

Maybe I’m being too lenient

But why should we get upset over a 40 character message that truly has no meaning?



Why?

Do we live in a world where we spend beyond our means?

Where one faces the dilemma of paying their rent, or buying these jeans

Paying their phone, or buying these foams

Why must you sacrifice things that you need

On something that you will not use everyday?





Yes….What I am writing is just words on paper with no true meaning

And words do not mean a thing unless there is some action

But it doesn’t mean that I will allow myself to let the mainstream be a distraction

To let them dig their feet and leave traction in my skin

Yes my words are powerless

But hey, someone had to begin



Yes, even I have done some of these things,

I am not a perfect guy

But have ever sat back and truly looked at some of the things you do and ask yourself




Why??

Mindset

Marching onward and searching forward
As I look toward the future while dwelling on the past,
I realize that it is hard to think about the future
When you still retain remnants from the fallen sands in the hourglass
I constantly think about what this life has to give and already given to me
I try to conquer all obstacles, missed opportunities and endless possibilities that make it hard to live.
And I realize that God will is in my corner and I can handle all burdens that my life gives.
The obstacles we dodge in life, so harsh they can be,
they're set before us every day and can transform any dream into a reality
Does anyone ever accomplish what they set out to do?
I feel like I have but more is left to the imagination which hopes to be true.
I know that my time here is limited and obstacles with continue to be placed in my path are here indeed,
but I will continue to live my life, under Gods will, in hopes that I succeed

Scars

I’m sick and tired…..
Of people staring at me as if I have a red stain on my white shirt and not in my eye in respect
But what can you expect when you have visible scars?
When the first thing people do among first glance…is stare at your forehead…
My first impression is to question your maturity,
but what gives me the authority to not act normally
When what is just a blemish is now my biggest insecurity.
Oh how I wish these were just hidden in obscurity
And I can erase that accident and the effects of it away from me

But….more than ever I realize that now….these scars…..are part of my identity
A visual testimony...
Of strength
Of God working to prove..that I am not done yet….
So….continue to stare….continue to question
Yea….to me it is more of a personal transgression
But your minute obsession and facial expression as you try to process the congestion of marks on my skull….flatters me
Because what you may consider as an imperfection
I see….as a blessing

This Lonely teardrop

As I sit here...I think
About how mch you have meant to me
A single teardrop begins to fall down my face
And, this teardrop symbolizes all that you meant to me
All the jokes, and positive memories..I can feel slipping away
As this tear begins its descent down my face.

While this teardrop falls past my cheek, I wonder if things would ever be the same
If I'm the one to blame, or if we were handed the wrong cards to begin this game in the first place.
Holding my hand up to recieve a catch...and realizing that it wasnt mine, but I still got attached
And it began to scratch the surface of something that had concrete foundation
And now that its gone.....its back to reality
But it will always cross my mind,
Although I can see clearly, I am now perfectly blind
And now my ride on cloud 9 is over, as I begin to fall... like this tear drop

And now, as this tear drop dangles off of my chin, more tears begin to fall,
But it was the one teardrop, that was the most important of all
But as it drops I feel my best friend sliping away,
The one who I can tal to about anything,
The one who I wouldnt have to be fake or phony with
Because I was never judged
And as the tears fall I wish things were back to the way they was
That teardrop...that one..lonely....teardrop...stands alone
It was the archetype of my happiness and the foundation of my smile......and its gone
Something that took years to establish.....but gone as fast as...
A teardrop falling down my face.....

Thank you by Jasmine Siobhan and Will Dennis

Thank You *takes a bow*

Hunger for success but no appetite Happiness
I’m trying to be the catalyst, to this chemical imbalance
And, as we re-establish what we went through in the past
We both are aware that times have changed.
No longer is love the question
Although it was always the exception
Fighting through the deception of what love showed us.
And now its seems that being “in love” and “loving are in two distinct directions
And no matter how we attempt to keep our feelings of another within our own discretion....People seem to notice.

Real eyes have finally opened up to realize those real lies
as we were mystified by what was love, and when the dust settled,
We saw the lust that our relationship was really built upon
No foundation
Just sweet nothingness called infatuation
Infatuated by what we thought was destiny
But now we see it was just a lesson
The Lesson: “Dont rush love, just let it happen”

Each lesson can be split into different chapters to prevent disaster but....we failed to read in between the lines
And once sublime now wishing that the sands of the hour glass ran out of time.
Wishing that we never met
Never said our first words
Never had our first kiss
Erasing what we thought was realm of positive possibilities
Love? Maybe
All the while stuck...regretting our iniquities

Floating through life leaving the remnants of us behind
Reminiscing on what could have, what would have, what never will be
Attempting to find motives to move on
Not knowing when love will strike again

So now a shield of uncertainty is placed in front of us because now our past will further affect our future
As we are moving "onto the next one”, we will compare our current to our past one
Although our eyes will be focused on a new chapter...we will never forget the previous...
So for this...I thank you

I lost a diamond

I once lost a diamond, so gorgeous and so rare as it
slipped through the cracks.
And underneath it all, became
Transparent adamantine lustre…. even to the touch
She was a precious stone, full of dazzling delicateness
Preciously priceless cut perfectly and precise

Beautifully bafflingly brilliantly bright

Twinkling in the suns light
Gorgeous, glass like
Diamond
And yet I lost her……but I don’t know how
And yet I still looked for her
Dreaming of the day I see her, as she dangles on the thread of my mind
like a females stiletto’s slips off of her heel….so I searched
Even in those hard to reach places
Even where I thought I left her,
But She left without me.
But this diamond began to show once more
Its glimmering beauty began to solidify into a shadow of
A true friend
Who means the entire world to me
And although it was physically lost, mentally this diamond stayed in my heart
And now that its back I cherish and hold it….as if it was never lost.
The truest friends are like diamonds, something rare

They are more desirable than riches, this I declare

Diamond in the rough- A person that is hard to snare,

But when you do, you hold on to it

And in my mind, with you, nothing can compare

So I write this hoping you know how much I care…because you are a diamond…..in the rough

If your walls could talk

If your walls could talk,

What would they talk about?

Would they gossip about us

And the things that we’ve managed to accomplish in this very moment,

As silently they witnessed?

Would they tell of how I would anxiously shove you

Face up against them, as soon as you step through the threshold,

My left hand holding your neck firmly, the right dropping your defenses to your ankles,

Fingers exploring from head to toe, soaking in your delight, as it roams your body?

Would they express with regress how I made you writhe and squirm,

And burn like a forest fire with an uncontrollable desire, with much to be admired;

How you would moan for me to go deep inside,

your swelling lips begging to be hushed, but alas theres no rush?

Would they disclose how I forced you to the floor,

Down on all fours,

As you whimpered, begging to be played with some more?

Or tell how you pleaded with me,

To drive in from behind,

As they observed without a sound,

Us imitating two animals in a mating ritual?

Would they voice how I raised you from the ground,

Thighs straddling my waist,

As I slipped inside, legs wrapped around,

For a ride to my bedroom,

Leaving them to wonder what came next?

Wondering if is all that they hope for or something they didnt expect

Leaving unanswered questions....and much to the imagination

Life: A dedication

Life is an ever winding road;
One that we build upon it as we go though our stages of life,
We are constantly laying the foundation that will become further cemented in the future,
in order to illuminate the vision for those who come after us
The journey can be warm or cold,
with every action causing a roadbump, yield sign, or traffic light,
as every decision paves and plows in the distance.
When we’re young we try to race,
rushing to success without leaving a trace
In order to see the next event along the way.
As hard as we try though we can’t change the pace
that time and fate passes in a day.
And when we become wiser the days rush by
as we desperately try to hold on
to each passing minute as they fly
like the sands of the hourglass you sit
knowing that they soon will be gone.
We have our up hills
when it seems so hard to get through each day.
We have our down hills
when carefree happiness washes our troubles away.
There are gorges and pitfalls along
that we must make every effort to bridge.
Failure will mark our last day,
and we’ll topple off that ridge.
Should we avoid the falls and the break,
our road will wind as we choose.
In the end it is the steps that we take,
and not the price of our shoes.

So what road will you pave as you leave your legacy?
Remember that what you leave behind will become your greatest memory
The road that you pave will essentially be followed by others,
As they pave their own roads, finding their own aspirations and wonders
Today we honor a man who has left his legacy of servant leadership
Paving his own road so others can have an easier trip
He was a loving father, community leader and pastor,
with the uncanny ability to touch others,
He was a bishop, a man of God, a husband and a brother.
So when you look up and see that this street bares his name,
Know that this man didn’t do what he has done for adoration and fame
Think about your legacy, and which road you wish to take
And think about the future, and how your decisions in your past can alter the decisions
that the kids, our future, will make.

30in30 Post 1.....Casette Life

Play:

Curtains had never carried a voice so serene;

a frequency of precious gems glisteningto my ears,

wrapping a most beautiful hour-glass,

yelling with the sharpness of tropical pink and orange;

you looked good as hell in that dress.

I had many fantasies of lust and of love,

and of us dancing in a fairytalelight,

marking our path through the eyes of admiration:

Communion rarely spewed forthsuch extravagent life -

each stride being a new bursting heart.

Then the dance was over…Once again you was gone

I loathed Him, and hated that dress.

Only I should be the one to touch grace;

to gingerly caress those pink blossoms of silk,

and feel the sands of time slip between my fingers,

and out of my hands forever...

The last drop of Vodka spilled,

I wiped my mouth in spite.

The burn alone wasn't enough,

I found no pleasure in inebriated senses.

Contemplations told me to move on,

but past videos of you kept me paused -

and I thought I had control.

Rewind.....Play.

I won't stand alone

I'm standing up tall
But not to be brash or arrogant
But to issue a challenge
To those independant women out there

Will all the good women....please stand up?

If you are a real women then you know where I'm coming from
When I tell you that I am not the one..
I am not the one to spend money on you
Buy you those designer shoes
So you can walk and hold the hand of another dude
While I am at home calling your cell like a damn fool

Please stand up
Those real women who are not influenced by Destiny's Child
Those women who want to stay at home to chill instead of going to the club and acting wild
And even if you DO go to the club, you keep a low profile, instead of wearing a hoes uniform
trying to hustle me out of a drink with a little ass shake and a smile

Please stand up
Because these songs have gotten be to believe that you are all dead
Can't even give you a simple compliment without it going straight to your already big head
And I cannot have a conversation with you without it leading to the bed....I dont mind, but sometimes its cool to be deep and intellectual but your,
too busy paying attention to the shoes on my feet instead of the words I just said

Please stand up
Because these songs have gotten you to believe that you NEED a
Timberland wearing, du rag having, pistol packing, pants low to the ground, cant pay the rent but can buy the new Js, car stop but the wheels spin the other way, living at home with his mother ass brother.

Please stand up
If you can comprehend that I am a brother thats able
To keep a job, pay my phone, lights and cable
remain financially stable and still put off on the table, because you know I can throw down

Please stand up
If you are not going to spit game
Wait for me to trick out change
While believing that niggas aint shit and we are all the same
And love is the only thing that you are trying to gain

Please stand up
If you can go through the hardship of a relationship
Instead of skipping out like a....

Please stand up
If a good man is somnething you can value
If you are a woman that always stay true
Who doesnt listen to their single friends but focuses on whats best for you
Then this poem is talking about you

Please stand up
Because this is the WOMAN that I wish to pursue

All to all you other GIRLS...who are in their own little world...remain seated

If you are not the one

If you’re not the one...then why does my heart skip a beat every time our eyes lock... or start to beat with a speed so great at your tender touch...

if your not the one...then why do I look at your direction again and again, thinking to myself that your beauty cannot be unmatched.

if your not the one...then why do I love to hear you talk all the time, no matter how immature or sublime I always have an open ear.

if your not the one...then why can't I help myself from blushing whenever I hear your name.. if your not the one...then why can't I stay away from you...why do always need you by my side for me to go on...

if your not the one...then why do I keep getting lost in the oceans of lust that is your eyes.... ...why do I keep wishing to stay with u forever through every sand of the hourglass... and if we are not meant to be...then why do I always see u as a part of my future...

if this is not right...then why do my thoughts always return back to you....

if your not suppose to be mine...then why my everyday's first and last thought is about you... ....

if it is all a dream...then why do I see it with my eyes wide open.. if your just a hallucination...then why do I feel you so strong and potent... if your not for me...then why do I always write our names together... if we're not supposed to be...then why do I want to take my last breath in your arms if your not the one...then why do I miss u so much the moment you leave... why do I want to spend the single second of the rest of my life listening to you...to feel your heart beat against your chest, intertwining with mine as our heartbeats synchronize in perfect timing like a metronome.. why, have my continuous attempts to move away from you go in vain...why your one embrace makes me forget about this world of disdain...as I focus on us why do I want to look good just for your eyes to see me...why does every single thing reminds me of you... if "Us" is not right...then why even can't I help noticing how good calling you and me "Us" sounds...why even if I find a thousand things about you that irritate me ...I will still find you flawless... and if you’re not the one...then why do I love u so...

Where and When

Emptiness and loneliness echo inside me
Passionate kisses and groping do not fill the spaces
A hollowness wells up inside me
Nights are only shared with useless thought
In my mind I could save the world
Armed with pen and passion
With poems and kisses
But none of that touches me
I only pretend the scars are no longer hurting
I have only pushed them deeper down inside
Pen in hand
Black ink on blue lined spiril bound pages
The written word can only release me
But it does nothing to fill the void
No longer can I even call upon the past
There are no more hopes of fixing things lost
Only pictures of lost faces
With lost dreams still burning in their eyes
My hopelessness weights me down
Like Ophilia I wait with weriness to be pulled down
All I can do is wait
Death has only spit me out each time I seek it
It is not my time
Will I remain empty and hollow till then?
If not how long must I wait for something to fill me?
Where in life will I find new meaning?